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 | Author : Chief |
| | When Do You Let Go? | Sometime in December 2005, I met this sister that I though we could develop a relationship. For the first three months, I did not make any move or let her know that I might be interested in her. We talk as friends do. Then in April of 2006, I told her that I would like pursue a relationship with her and she told me that she would have to think and pray about it. For the next six months, I did not press the matter. I tried my best to get to know her and vice versa. Then in October 2006, I asked if she has made up her mind about the relationship issue. She said she’s still thinking about. It’s been 8 months since I asked if she would consider having a relationship me. Each time I bring up the subject, she says that she is thinking about it, or she’s not ready to commit to a relationship. My question is when do you pull the plug?
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16 Replies |
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 | | Posted By | island_dude | Date/Time | 2006-12-07 06:15:47 | | | you mentioned she said that "she's not ready to commit to a relationship"... If after being friend for a year she's still thinking about it, and she's still not ready, maybe she'll never be ready. You have to be careful not to let her keep you as her backup plan. I think you should bring up the subject one more time and tell her exatcly how you feel, if she still not ready you need start pulling back. |
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| |  | | Posted By | Lyei | Date/Time | 2006-12-07 06:58:34 | | | There is no plug to pull, there never was one. My brother I suggest that you seek God's counsel on this one. If I were you, I will take my mind off the sister or try to and concentrate on my life and fulfill the plan that God has laid out for me. If she is meant to be for you, she will come to you when the time is right. If you can't let go of her in your heart at least don't put any pressure on her, keep your distance. It's really up to you. If this is the woman that God chose for you, He will give you guidance on how to handle this. |
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| | | | Posted By | annonymus_g | Date/Time | 2006-12-10 17:41:25 | | | My friend, do what is right for you, protect yourself and your emotions. If you think its worth it then hold on, but you are not plugged in, so u cannot pull any plug (like lyei stated) For you to wonder about this, maybe its time to let go. Men get stuck in this she may be the one mentality. If she is why are you beggin, and cannot get a clearer picture as to where she is. Besides she already said for now she does not want a relationship. And you insist on having one: heart break in the making. I commend you for having told her and unlike most, you stuck with it, but DMX said it right when he said "if you want something let it go, if it comes back to you its yours, else never was meant to be." Jesus said it better "he who holds on to his life would loose it" YOu are holding on to tight. Let it be, talk to some other girls (not necessary to date), see movies with them, half the time you spent talking things out with this girl, should be spent brokering deals with millionaires, or some other venture that will improve your life. She knows you like her, she has not said she likes you. Hmm... Danger Mr Robinson. Just leave her be, not necesaarily cut her off, but divert and channel some of that into other things. In better words, get a life. She is not your source, you are depending too much on her. If you can brave it, just ask her: do you like me as much as i like you? She might hang up not say anything, but if need be she will be compelled t answer the question. Set you standard and stop waiting on someone who whill waste your time. Girls say they like guys who are persistent. I think its all a lie. You will be there and she will date someone else. If she likes the attention, why then wont she go with the source of the attention: You. If this was an investment in stocks, or a bank account, would you still hold on to it if u can measure the value of interest you have garnered? The world awaits you; some girl is just wishin you will turn around and start chatting her up. But I cant tell you what to do. I think you do. Take a break from it all, and assess the situation objectively. You will be surprised. |
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| | | | Posted By | Aray | Date/Time | 2006-12-11 16:43:25 | | | Emeka... is that you! |
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| | | | Posted By | Chief | Date/Time | 2006-12-11 18:43:46 | | | Emeka??? Try again. Alternatively, I'd recommend that you not try. I don't think anyone on this forum knows who I am. I had a good laugh reading your comment though. Ha, Ha, Ha |
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| | | | Posted By | Lyei | Date/Time | 2006-12-11 19:25:25 | | | So did you let go Chief? |
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| | | | Posted By | Chief | Date/Time | 2006-12-11 20:40:00 | | | @Lyei, Yes I did |
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| | | | Posted By | Lyei | Date/Time | 2006-12-12 06:48:31 | | | "We want to be persistent in getting a wife and it's the same as in getting a job?
Aren't we forgetting something here?
And so if one lady says no, others will say yes?"
I am flabbergasted, is this how low you view us?
We are as replaceable as a china set? |
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| |  | | Posted By | wale | Date/Time | 2006-12-12 12:03:48 | | Hahaha Chief, WAKE UP, SMELL THE FLOURS !!!!!!!!!!!! Do you have a job? What kinda car do you drive? Are you still leaving with your father/mother/relative? Where are you from? Is your mother still alive? How many younger siblings do you have? How loaded are your parents?
Her response to you is as a result of your answer to these questions.... |
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| | | | Posted By | livloves | Date/Time | 2006-12-14 11:49:09 | | | ^^^pretty shallow reasoning. i don't think all women reject men on those basis, this seems like generalizing to me. i'm not sure WHY she hasn't decided yet, but i think its not worth your time to continue to wait. move on... |
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| | | | Posted By | annonymus_g | Date/Time | 2006-12-26 09:05:33 | | | Sorry to bring up this old baggage. But do u care to update us on ur adventures? How is life after letting go, what reactions on both sides have been noticed, what are you doing now? Anyone else on the horizon or u just flying solo? |
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| | | | Posted By | Chief | Date/Time | 2006-12-28 07:22:49 | | | @ annonymus_g, letting go was never a problem. What I often reflect on was the fact that I ignored the warning signs and waited this long before realizing that I may be wasting my time. What are the signs that I have noticed on both sides? I guess letting go has dampen our conversation a little. There’s really no motivation on my part to call since I figure this was an investment that is not going to yield any return. I might as well invest my time in somebody else. On her side, I guess there is no motivation to call as well. Right now, I’m just flying solo. Of course, there are other people in the “horizon”, but I first need to sort out some things first. Anyways, to God be the Glory |
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| | | | Posted By | island_dude | Date/Time | 2006-12-28 07:53:27 | | | We live and learn... I waited for 2 years once... before realizing that I was wasting my time chasing after the wind... |
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| | | | Posted By | Chief | Date/Time | 2009-01-13 07:16:33 | | Just a quick update to the question/story I posted sometime ago (Follow the thread aboue) - I just wanted to let you guys know that I met somebody, we dated/courted for a while, now we are engaged to marry, and would be getting married this summer. The Lord be praised!!!
My word for anyone waiting and hoping is to stay strong and hold on to God. I firmly believe that God is working behind the scene to perfect things for you. Just hold on, trust God, and know that God will do it. Be Blessed. |
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| | | | Posted By | omosaje | Date/Time | 2009-07-16 12:01:20 | | | I really love Wale comment at the bottom of this forum.Let us be honest,some of those JH Ladies reasons are still OLD Africa mentality.Good education,better car,large house,rich family and many more.This is America and these ladies need to wake up.A poor man in the US today can wake up tomorrow and become rich.There are many people hat ,they just need a help,not that they do not have vision or ideal.For example,Tyler Perry,he was poor and really poor at one point of his life ,and see where he is now.This is America.
To my undestanding about JH ladies,many of them won't get the grace,becasue of their stupidity.some even insisted not to marry another race.not only marry a guy that is still struggling.As a chrsistian,where is it in the bible that God says,we can only marry from our culture,tribes,or race??? |
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| | | | Posted By | Lyei | Date/Time | 2009-08-10 12:35:44 | | | As a chrsistian,where is it in the bible that God says,we can only marry from our culture,tribes,or race???
Very good point. A lot of us are still doing things the old way. The bible says that in Christ we are a new creature but instead we call ourselves christians yet applying the old principles into the new life. When we get to heaven, if we get to heaven all of us will have to answer for the way we did things on this earth. Chief congrats on your wedding. Many blessings! |
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